Have you ever really given any thought to the sounds you make during sex? I've thought about it a lot, mainly because my world contains lots of ears to potentially overhear my fun, so I have to actively think concentrate on (and control) the sounds I make. That got me thinking... They say that bands "discover their sound" over the course of their first few albums. I think maybe I've finally discovered my own, different sort of sound.
When I was 13 or 14 I discovered the shower head. Don't deny it, I know every woman out there knows what I'm talking about, and probably most of the men too. But I lived with my parents, and so obviously sounds of ecstasy coming from the bathroom while I was showering weren't a good idea. Honestly though, I don't really recall having to keep it quiet, I think I just was naturally quiet back then. Same goes for any of the times I touched myself in my bed at night as a teenager. Again, no sound, as I wouldn't want my mother coming in to see if I had a tummyache, as she used to do when my sister made the sounds I now know were pleasure and not pain... Looking back realize the complete and utter lack of finesse I had back then, which could have had something to do with it.
The first porn I saw that I remember more than the barest details of was a black and white movie watched on a betamax VCR when I was about 16. I was at my mom's best friend's house and I was house and dog-sitting for the weekend, and found some very interesting things in the very back of the video cabinet. I remember the screams and cries the women made, and remember being baffled by them, as it had never occured to me that pleasure of that sort would create sound. Sometime after that I saw "When Harry Met Sally" for the first time, and we're all familiar with that scene where Sally proves how easy it is to fake orgasm, in the middle of a cafe. Again, I was baffled. A couple of years later, watching porn at a bachelorette party, there was discussion of the fact that people don't actually sound like that when having sex. I was 19 or thereabouts, but still very deeply ensconced in the world of the GoodGirl- I'd never done anything but kiss a boy at that point (well thats not entirely true, but in all senses that truly mattered it is), so I had no idea if this was true or not.
Things continued on in their mostly silent manner until I was 22. That was when I met Fox. Fox rocked my world in so many ways, the most important of which was that he was the first person in my life to get past first base. That relationship found us quite solidly at third most of the time, and a few times, *very* close to home plate (though we never got there and for that I am thankful). He encouraged me to not to keep the sounds inside, and for a long time I didn't know what he meant. Not until the night he hit that spot. You know. That spot. And I made a sound I'd never heard before nor have I ever heard again. It was like every wall around every vocal cord was shattering, and the sound of that shattering was bursting forth. He shushed me, mainly because that was just too much noise for where we were at the time, but later told me that it was one of the hottest things he had heard in a long time. Very shortly after that night I moved really far away from him, and my experiences with phonesex began, and for the exposure to that I can't ever thank him enough, because while my relationship with him didn't last a whole lot longer, I discovered an incredible turn-on - one that has gotten me through many a dry spell between relationships.
With phonesex, you have to make noise, or the other person has no idea what you are feeling. I started to make sounds that came naturally to me. Nothing fake, nothing forced. And I've learned that I really don't sound like the women in porn. Nor do I sound like Meg Ryan (of which I am actually glad, because she was a little scary). I can be a screamer if things feel right for it, or it can be much quieter, with gentle moans and sighs and deep shuddering breaths. I've always contended that men sound like they're in pain when they come. There's one guy I talk to, whenever I get a chance, that roars when he comes, and I just have to smile every time. I've realized, when I'm having to choke back a scream because my housemates would hear, I sound like I'm in pain. But I have been told on more than one occasion, even when coming and choking back a scream and making more of a hoarse "ack" sound, that I sound beautiful. And somehow, even though you'd think the situation would make embarrassment pointless, it's still the sort of compliment that makes me blush and get all shy.
Posted by Annora at September 2, 2004 11:31 PM