July 23, 2005

I'm having difficulty writing about my own sex life. Not that I have much of one at the moment. I think that party back in January gave me my fill for a while. I had a date about a month ago, mainly because I didn't want my birthday month to go by without seeing some action. And while it was fun, there isn't anything overly senstional to say about it. So... I'm gonna write about my best friend instead.

She has recently decided to come out as a lesbian. And really, it makes so much sense I can't believe I never saw it before. She has serious penis issues. She doesn't like them. She thinks they're gross and ugly. She hated porn when we were younger, because of all the closeups and the money-shots. Once we got her some girl porn she was much happier.

So anyway, every once in a while she asks me to get her a Playboy or something so she can have pictures of naked women to look at. Last weekend, we were in the east bay and realized we needed small bills for the bridge. I mean, you don't technically but they kinda glare at you if you hand them a $20 for a $3 toll. We just happened to be passing a kinda sketchy looking convenience store, and since I was the passenger I jumped out of the car, intending to buy a bottle of water or something, just to get change.

The magazine rack was visible from the street, and we could see plastic wrapped magazines on the top rack, which generally indicates adult content. She asked me to get her a magazine while I was in there. I've been telling her she should check out Penthouse, because that usually has more explicit pictures, and usually some girl on girl action since guys seem so fond of that, so that was what I was looking for. Unfortunately, all I could find was Penthouse Letters- which isn't really that bad, seeing as that was my magazine of choice for several years- so I got that.

The other day I asked how the magazine "was working out" for her. She laughed and said it was good, but that some of the pictures had "guy parts" in them, and so she put stickers over them- things like shovels and sand castles.

"so, you now have a magazine with pictures of women sucking on shovels?"

We both had a good laugh at that one, but hey... whatever works.